You and the child you are adopting are likely to encounter intrusive questions from family, friends, and strangers. It is important to plan how you will manage these questions while putting the child’s interests first and maintaining the child’s privacy. People often use labels to refer to children, and these labels are often hurtful. We will discuss ways to avoid labels and use strength-based descriptions instead. We will also discuss ways to welcome children into your home and community and will discuss some brief case studies of ways to manage intrusive questions.

• Can identify strategies to appropriately answer questions and/or diffuse probing from others regarding the child.
• Describe the strength-based language that can be used when sharing information about the child and how they are with the family who is fostering or adopting them.
• Can identify strategies to prepare family and friends on how best to welcome a child joining the family.

• Willing to prioritize a child’s feelings over adults’ curiosity, even if the adult is well intended and/or a family member.
• Committed to the idea of protecting the child’s background information on a need-to-know basis.
• Willing to accept the responsibility for modeling appropriate responses to probing questions for the child.
• Believe it is important to follow-up privately with the child following an intrusive encounter with others.

• Use strength-based, person-centered language when sharing information about the child and why they are with the family who is fostering or adopting them.